Up Late

That's not a surprise since I'm usually up late. I'm trying sleep deprevation as a way to get my sleep back on track. I spent most of the night downloading songs and working on the silk sweater. Yes, the silk sweater is back in play. Hopefully by the time I find my camera!!!!!!!....I'll have a good bit done so that you can see the lace work better and see how it compares to the picture from the magazine.
It's Monday here and I'm hoping for a yarn delivery later this morning. I hope, I hope, I hope. Now I just have to find a fabric store. If not on island then somewhere that won't charge my first born for shipping. Some places charge $10, then some other places (as I have recently found out after I checked out) charge $24. Guam uses the USPS so it shouldn't cost so much. Some places charge for import and customs.....others don't. I haven't found out where the difference lies unless it's just with the company wanting to make more money.
Found some great songs on ITunes. Not Ready to Make Nice by the Dixie Chicks.......you have to love honesty and fighting spirit; I Am Not My Hair by India.Arie with Akon...... it makes me want to shave my head just to rally against society...almost; One by U2 with Mary J. Blige......a great classic song with a wonderful new take on the vocals with Mary's powerful voice; Pink Moon by Nick Drake.....an old favorite that I was delighted to find; When In Rome by Nickel Creek......a perfect commentary on the way people are apathetic and conformist; Breathe (2AM) by Anna Nalick.....a song I sing in my head whenever I'm having a "moment"; and Closer to Fine by the Indigo Girls.....the words speak to my soul.
I also spent a few hour trying to find people that I used to know on MySpace. I don't have a MySpace account, but my friend Amanda does and I watch her clicking away on it sometimes. Usually when I'm up late I get to thinking about old friends and wonder what they're doing with their lives. MySpace seemed like a good search engine although I was mostly unsuccessful due to some sort of error that kept occurring. I did happen upon a blog by young woman with breast cancer. It was sad reading what she's going through. A year ago she marked her calendar that this was the day she would start trying for a baby with her hubby and now she's just trying to live and hoping the chemo doesn't kill all her chances of one day having children whether it kills her or her reproductive system. I've watched many people in my family and my hubby's slowly lose their lives to an illness. A few of them have survived this far....actually one out of seven. For a few it was cancer, one it was emphysema and for my mom it's crohn's. My mom is thankfully still alive, but I've seen and experienced what it does to people and it has a tendency to be cruel and all the wishful thinking in the world doesn't change the course that it takes. I told her to fight until she couldn't fight anymore. I didn't try to tell her everything would be okay and that she would survive. Breast cancer at her age is bad news and very aggressive. I learned that expecting the worst made anything better a blessing and felt better then constant disappointment caused by wishful thinking. Is that sad? Or real? I don't know. Maybe both. I also found that whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger even if you want to die in the process. So fight.....continue to fight and keep moving if you can't change what is.