All I Want For Christmas is........

Well I haven't knitted since Thanksgiving and I'm still having the pains in my arms and chest. So it has nothing to do with knitting and I'm going to start knitting again and hope that I can get my Christmas gift to my mom done and out to her within a couple of days. I was right when I thought that knitting actually was helping the pain go away because it's hurt worse since I stopped (the shoulder pain) meaning it's probably more of an arthritis then tendonitis. Ah, well. I'm going to knit up the Ice Queen head cover for my mom as well as another pair of socks in the deliciously soft RYC Cashsoft 4 ply. I picked up some beads yesterday and found a tutorial on a much easier way to do a provisional CO. I'm all set. I just need to get back into the grove. I gave up on the Cobweb Lace Shawl. I wondered how much she would really use it and it also seemed that the lace was just too complex for my ADD brain. I'd always get to the same row and then I'd start messing it up and having to start over again (5 times total). I have enough of the yarn to make her a whole set including socks, mittens and the headcover. I would still have enough left over to make myself a pair of socks (and I think I will).
We got our new car. I'm so excited. It's my Christmas gift. I was able to get a Kia Spectra (which is what I wanted) and we got a pretty good deal on it. It's even a 2009 so it hasn't even been born yet (ha ha ha). We've already put 1000 miles on the baby, but I'm happier that I don't have to worry about the thing breaking down for a few years. DH is scheduled for another surgery after the beginning of the year. Not to fix his ACL, but to do another clean out. His body produces too much scar tissue and it's interfering with movement. Not to mention causes pain. The doctor doesn't think that another surgery will do any good, but wants to give it another try along with giving him steroids and the like to keep the inflammation down this time around and seeing if that makes a difference. Most likely he'll be going in front of the med board and they will kick him out of the navy with a nice little disability package. Not something we had really planned on but we're rolling with the punches and rewriting our plans.
I go see the dermatologist next week to see if she can give me something stronger for the psoriasis. It's taking over my body (probably the cause of the pains in my arms and chest as well). I have little kids asking me what happened to my arms and legs. They are covered in spots and I look like I had chickenpox. It's getting insane.... not to mention the itching.
Really I don't care as long as it's not on my face. I may look like a leaper, but at least my face is still pretty. Only I'm starting to get a small bit on my face so that's why I'm headed to the doctor.
I finished reading the Twilight series. Yes, I too got sucked into it (ha ha ha). I'm always game for a good vampire story. I actually had never heard of it until I saw a preview for the movie online (no previews on TV here for the movie at all existed). The look they share when he saves her from the van was so intense I knew that I had to know the story going on there. I always check to see if a movie was made from a book before I go see it so that I can read the real story before seeing the movie. When I found out there were four books in the series and I didn't want to put it down after the first few sentences, then I knew I had stuck library gold. So I bought all four books and read them within three days. Then I went and saw the movie and must say that it was all awesome. Since the end of Harry Potter I've been looking for the next good thing. Only bad thing is that I read to darn fast and find myself done with a book within the same days that I get it (if it's good). I also recently picked up The Road. They're making a movie of it. I had to stop reading it though because the story is heart wrenching. Stories like that are good, but depressing and I can only take so much of it at a time. I can't watch Bambi and I skip over the part in the Lion King where Mufasa dies.
Can't wait for Christmas. I got all my shopping done early and I got everything the kids wanted except for one thing that I couldn't find. Last two Christmases we've had to get whatever we thought the kids might like because either we didn't know what they wanted or there wasn't anything left. They were very specific this year. Our son is usually specific so he's not hard to buy for, but our daughter is more difficult. I had to pointedly ask her what she wanted. She asked for art supplies more then toys. She's also getting an iPod. Just a shuffle. If she can show me that she can keep care of that then she might get upgraded next year to one with video.

Waiting and waiting....... and waiting

Our cars are broken. It will cost more to fix them then they are worth. Right now we are renting a car and waiting to hear back to see if we got approved to buy a new car (if we're going to throw away $500 a month then it should be on something we get to keep). We've been waiting for more then a week for the car place and the bank to tell us whether or not we have been approved. I called the car place today and he said that he had heard something, but he's busy right now and could I wait thirty minutes for him to call me back. Sure, I've only been waiting and dying to know. Not to mention they are holding our money ransom until we find something out. We gave $300 as a down payment (to reserve the car) and if we don't get the loan we get that money back. If we do get the loan then we get to turn in the rental and get about the same amount back. We've been living on only $300 for the past two weeks and would like the rest of our money back NOW thank you very much. After thirty minutes I called back and he said to give him five more minutes because he was with a customer. Could you at least tell me yes or no!!!! I'll be really POed if we were declined because he could have taken the 5 seconds to let me know that so I could drive up there and get my money back (and no it's not a scam..... this is a military business that we're buying a car through so it works a little differently then a car dealership out in town and is the cheapest option we have for a car at this point..... we got a lot of rebates and saved a load of money then if we bought out in town). Okay it's been five minutes. Please call me back already!!!
Anyways, so of all the places that you could get pneumonia, do you think that Guam would be the most likely..... where it's 86 degrees everyday? No? Well we have our cold and flu season too and germs are not picky as to the temperature outside as long as they can take residence in your body (ie being cold does not give you a cold and catching a chill does not make you get sick). My dear son got pneumonia and spent the weekend in the hospital. He was so pitiful. His poor little four year old self sat still both times they gave him an IV (his first one fell out). He cried and asked if they were done yet. He's better now and more animated then ever (thanks to his steroid).
Okay. We were declined. You couldn't have told me that earlier!!!! And I'm even more pissed because now he's saying that it'll take a few days to get our money back because we paid cash because they don't keep money in the office. Next time I'll be careful and ask very detailed questions before giving money. He made it out like would only take a day or two to hear back on whether or not we were approved and then he could get us our money back almost immediately. No turkey for Thanksgiving. Thank you.... thank you all. I so want to cry right now. And on top of everything else I have tendonitis in both of my shoulders as well as a strained muscle in my chest (which provokes a stabbing pain when I move a certain way) and cubital tunnel syndrome.... all from knitting so I've been told I can't knit for a few months. I have a Christmas deadline people. Joy to the freakin' world!!!!!!!!!

Tears of Sadness and Joy

My Grandpa passed away on Sunday night 28th of September. Yesterday I didn't know how to feel. I felt blank and found myself staring into space thinking of absolutely nothing. I went through a few hours of crying without knowing what I was crying for at first. By the end of the day I was still sad, but felt peaceful. We all knew that he was going to die. He told us before I left and came to Guam that he only had a year to live. That was almost two years ago. He also said that he was okay about it because he never expected to live past 80 (I think he was 83 when he passed) and that he was ready. I was sad when he told us and I think I did most of my mourning then. There were times when I wanted to feel like it wasn't fair, but in my mind I knew he had lived past life expectancy, he had a long adventurous life, he was sick and in pain and he just wanted to be with Grandma. I'm happy for him because I know that he's no longer in pain and doesn't have to struggle for air. He was surrounded by those that loved him and he was able to pass at home, where he wanted to, instead of a hospital. He knew he was loved and I was able to tell him what I wanted to say. Every time I think of him I see him laughing and I think it's because he's made it there where Grandma was waiting for him and he's happy.
I love you always

Pos or Neg, Pros and Cons

Well on top of the psoriasis I may also have lupus. A sucky disease to have, to be sure, but it would be an answer to the question that I've had for a little over five years now. I've had headaches, fatigue, itchy skin, bruising, gastrointestinal problems, muscle and joint pains and just general feeling like I'm coming down with the flu, over and over and over again. I had the blood tests taken last Friday and I'm waiting until Wednesday after Labor Day to call if I haven't heard anything. I'm kind of hoping it comes back negative, but kind of hoping it comes back positive. I went in on Friday thinking that I had the flu or maybe strep because my throat felt a little scratchy. The doctor looked at me, went to check something and came back saying she thought I might have lupus. My cheeks and nose were red like I had a sunburn and they felt hot, but I hadn't been outside in over a week, plus it had been raining and overcast for two weeks straight. I had only been outside long enough to walk to my car and then walk from the car into the doctor's office and I had sat in the air conditioning for more then twenty minutes before seeing her so I shouldn't have been hot, not to mention it was overcast outside. She brought another doctor in who said it also looked like a classic malar rash. I've been trying to convince myself since then that I just get hot easily. If it comes back negative I'm going to be upset because I'll be back at square one and not knowing what's wrong is frustrating. At this point it would almost be a relief to find out that I have lupus just so that I can know and they can give me something that might make me feel better. At least for a little while. I'm in my late twenties and I know that I shouldn't feel as run down and old as I feel. I should have energy and be enjoying life. I know I'm not depressed (I went ahead and ruled out mental things first because I had just had kids when all this started and wanted to make sure it wasn't postpartum depression or something like that). At first I was scared it might come back positive. I think I'm more scared now that it'll come back negative.
We recently found out that my son is allergic to guinea pigs, which is funny. We have two guinea pigs and he's scared of them, but I was holding one the other day and my son got on my lap. The guinea got in his face and within a few minutes my son had hives all around his lips and chin. I waited a few days and then took some shedded fur off of the guineas and rubbed it on his leg just to make sure it was the guineas and not something he ate and sure enough, within about two minutes he had hives breaking out in the exact spot. I gave him some Benadryl, washed his leg and put some hydrocortisone cream on his hives before sending him to bed. The hives were gone within twenty minutes. It's just crazy how fast he broke out. It's also a good thing that he's scared of them. As long as they don't give him any other problems I think it's okay to keep them as long as he doesn't come in contact with their fur, but once they kick the bucket we won't be getting anymore. My dreams of a guinea farm just went up in smoke ;-)
On the knitting front I finished three of my four projects for the Ravelympics. The darn Sweetheart Socks gave me trouble (as well as a week of near continuos sleep because it felt like I was coming down with the flu). I've now started on a sweater for my hubby. Or I should say I've started a sweater that I'm really probably going to wear more than him, but it's for him. My son wanted some "dark socks" that I've started as well. And I also have a pair of knee socks on needles to jazz up my daughter's school uniform. "Ruby" started school this last week and was really excited to be riding the bus this year. "Max" will be going to preschool and he can't wait. It starts this Friday, but he is bummed that he doesn't get to ride the bus. We keep reassuring him that he will next year.
Hubby had to go back to physical therapy for another round because he still can't bend his knee 90 degrees and is having pain. They may have to do exploratory surgery because he shouldn't be having pain at this point. On a funny note, his knee gave out as he was taking a bowl of Campfire stew out of the freezer (he was cooling it off for the kids) and it caused him to jerk and fling the stew all over the front of the refrigerator. We laughed for awhile about that one (or maybe I laughed and he gave me dirty looks..... I can't remember). I love my gimp.

Gearing for the Ravelympics

I think I may have overdone it and I'm getting nervous. To update, I was invited to Ravelry (online knitting community) and soon after found that they are holding the Ravelympics (a knitting version of the Olympics). I chose three events, the Sock Put, Shawl Relay and the Bag and Tote Backstroke. I have a total of four projects, two socks, one hobo bag and a shawl. I'm still waiting for my yarn for the shawl and the bag, but I will be able to work on the socks while waiting and I'm crossing my fingers that the rest gets here before I finish them. The socks alone will take about a week. I'll be lucky if I finish.
I can not begin to explain how much I love this site (Ravelry). It allows me to see all the projects that I have on the needles, as well as my stash and connects me to knitters the world over. Something that's very important here in Guam since knitters are few and far between. I'm thinking of starting a knitting club. Some well placed flyers on base may bring all the hidden knitters out of the woodwork for a once a week group knitting session. For now though, I am focused on the Ravelympics. My arms are going to be burnin'.

Never Goodbye

I wish that I could be home and see you, but life has made that impossible. There are so many things that I wanted to say to you when I talked to you on the phone, but my own stupid sense of needing to be strong prevented me. I remember when I was a little kid and I decided to clean your TV screen. I think I used hairspray. It didn't work well at cleaning the screen and you were mad at the fuzzy, streaky mess I had made. I was scared of you then. The beauty of growing up is that we learn that the scary adults aren't so scary. We learn about their secrets, their mistakes, and we learn that they are fallable..... human, just like us. Because of that we love them even more. We love them for their humaness and we love them because of who they are now. I love you and I wish that you didn't have to go. I love your pancakes on Sunday morning (especially the pancake man), the times that you were there for me when my mom couldn't be and times when you were there for her, your stories of the navy and my mom and her brothers and sisters growing up and I will miss everything about you even though I couldn't say that on the phone..... I felt it in my heart. I feel it in my heart..... and it hurts. But I know that it's time. I could hear that in your voice, so I say I LOVE YOU, but never goodbye. Goodbye is for people that we'll never see again and I see you everyday. In the can of Popeye Spinach in the grocery store, in my husband as he talks about his navy adventures, through my mom as I listen to her voice on the phone, in the pictures that I have at home, in the pancakes that I make for my kids (sometimes I even try and make the pancake man), in the warm air of Guam knowing that you were once here, and in the night sky knowing that you can see the same stars. I love you, Grandpa and I wanted you to know that. I love you more then you ever realized. Love Sam.

Oh Happy Days

I have been a busy little person since I last blogged. My hubby tore his ACL, MCL and messed up the meniscus in his knee. He is going to require surgery to have it all fixed. The good news in all this is that they'll take him off the ship and they may send us back to the states soon. It's also nice to have him home all the time...... sometimes. The biggest hurrah is that they have finally found out what is wrong with my skin. Three years of suffering may finally be over!!!! I have psoriasis. It was difficult to diagnose because the placement of it makes it look different. Lucky for me (I think), it broke out on my scalp and made itself very obvious. I'm grateful that it's not in any place that can really been seen, but that having been said it has been a real pain. A real annoying, frustrating, sometimes painful pain. Welcome to the auto immune disease club. Do I get a shirt? I'm taking things as they come and rolling with the punches.
In my knitting world (which has served to keep me from going insane as I was very itchy for a time and having something to occupy your hands with is very helpful) I have been working on another blanket. Originally I bought the yarn for a shirt, but after messing up an entire section I frogged it and decided that the color wasn't right for my mom. I debated about making a shawl out of it, but decided a blanket would cover better. It's a very simple blanket. It's all done in garter stitch . I started with CO 35 sts and knitting 33 rows. I then BO and picked up 35 sts on the left side of the square and knit 33 rows before binding off again and then picking up 70 sts along the left side (and so on and so forth). I'm on my third ball (I have twelve total) and I already have a substantially large square for a 4 ply being knit on US4 needles. I'm also still plugging away on a scarf, socks and I just recently started knitting Harry Potter's red sweater from the Charmed Knits book. So far, so good on everything