Never Goodbye

I wish that I could be home and see you, but life has made that impossible. There are so many things that I wanted to say to you when I talked to you on the phone, but my own stupid sense of needing to be strong prevented me. I remember when I was a little kid and I decided to clean your TV screen. I think I used hairspray. It didn't work well at cleaning the screen and you were mad at the fuzzy, streaky mess I had made. I was scared of you then. The beauty of growing up is that we learn that the scary adults aren't so scary. We learn about their secrets, their mistakes, and we learn that they are fallable..... human, just like us. Because of that we love them even more. We love them for their humaness and we love them because of who they are now. I love you and I wish that you didn't have to go. I love your pancakes on Sunday morning (especially the pancake man), the times that you were there for me when my mom couldn't be and times when you were there for her, your stories of the navy and my mom and her brothers and sisters growing up and I will miss everything about you even though I couldn't say that on the phone..... I felt it in my heart. I feel it in my heart..... and it hurts. But I know that it's time. I could hear that in your voice, so I say I LOVE YOU, but never goodbye. Goodbye is for people that we'll never see again and I see you everyday. In the can of Popeye Spinach in the grocery store, in my husband as he talks about his navy adventures, through my mom as I listen to her voice on the phone, in the pictures that I have at home, in the pancakes that I make for my kids (sometimes I even try and make the pancake man), in the warm air of Guam knowing that you were once here, and in the night sky knowing that you can see the same stars. I love you, Grandpa and I wanted you to know that. I love you more then you ever realized. Love Sam.

Oh Happy Days

I have been a busy little person since I last blogged. My hubby tore his ACL, MCL and messed up the meniscus in his knee. He is going to require surgery to have it all fixed. The good news in all this is that they'll take him off the ship and they may send us back to the states soon. It's also nice to have him home all the time...... sometimes. The biggest hurrah is that they have finally found out what is wrong with my skin. Three years of suffering may finally be over!!!! I have psoriasis. It was difficult to diagnose because the placement of it makes it look different. Lucky for me (I think), it broke out on my scalp and made itself very obvious. I'm grateful that it's not in any place that can really been seen, but that having been said it has been a real pain. A real annoying, frustrating, sometimes painful pain. Welcome to the auto immune disease club. Do I get a shirt? I'm taking things as they come and rolling with the punches.
In my knitting world (which has served to keep me from going insane as I was very itchy for a time and having something to occupy your hands with is very helpful) I have been working on another blanket. Originally I bought the yarn for a shirt, but after messing up an entire section I frogged it and decided that the color wasn't right for my mom. I debated about making a shawl out of it, but decided a blanket would cover better. It's a very simple blanket. It's all done in garter stitch . I started with CO 35 sts and knitting 33 rows. I then BO and picked up 35 sts on the left side of the square and knit 33 rows before binding off again and then picking up 70 sts along the left side (and so on and so forth). I'm on my third ball (I have twelve total) and I already have a substantially large square for a 4 ply being knit on US4 needles. I'm also still plugging away on a scarf, socks and I just recently started knitting Harry Potter's red sweater from the Charmed Knits book. So far, so good on everything